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Forgiveness can have a positive impact on mental health, too, by lowering levels of anxiety, depression and stress.
“You lower stress in general because it’s stressful to carry a grudge subconsciously and consciously,” said Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based psychologist who specializes in life transitions, motivation and self-esteem. “The heaviness can leave you feeling depressed and weigh you down — and it is draining.”
In addition to health benefits, forgiving a person may help your relationships overall. Thomas said holding a grudge can hold you back from trusting new people because you never healed from the past. “You may not even realize you’re holding onto stuff more or longer than you should and it’s triggering old feelings even when it has nothing to do with a new person.”
Forgiveness may not be for everyone. One way to know if you’re ready to try to forgive is to check your feelings. If you’re not driven by emotion or your feelings are less intense than before, you may be in a place where you can forgive, according to Thomas.
Here are 4 tips from Thomas on how to move forward toward forgiveness.
Yvonne Thomas Ph.D. is a Los Angeles Psychologist and also offers online therapy in Los Angeles. To read the full article “Forgiving Yourself – And Others – Is Good For Your Health” visit healthywomen.org