In a marriage with children, it may seem counterintuitive to not put the kids first, says psychologist Yvonne Thomas. “However, it’s actually healthier to make your spouse the first priority.” This is because it benefits all of your family members. If you have an emotionally solid marriage with a good foundation, your children will feel happier, more stable and more secure, Thomas says.
“Kids can literally see what it’s like to be in a loving relationship in which there is a true partnership, respect, and joy from being a couple,” she says. “By experiencing this emotional stability between their parents, the kids can learn how to do this when they have their own romantic relationships, too.”
When you place your spouse first and vice versa, you’ll both feel more loved and appreciated. “This can make the kids feel more comfortable and happy too, since the quality of their parents’ relationship—and thus the quality of their home life—can be genuinely positive,” Thomas says.
Los Angeles Psychologist Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D. is a therapist providing counseling services in the Los Angeles area. To read the full article “Who Comes First: Your Spouse, Your Family Or Your Kids?” visit theknot.com.