EXCERPT: While summer might feel like the busiest season for couples — weddings, vacations and more! — the holiday season can be the most stressful time. Depending on how long you’ve been together, you’re suddenly faced with a lot of decisions together. From if you’re ready to take the next step and meet each other’s families to how you’ll split the time between your office party and hers — the ‘happiest’ time of the year can make or break your relationship. Psychologist Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D. also adds the air of the holiday season challenges you to be more honest about your emotions and to connect your desires for traditions from past years. If you don’t see a future with your partner or you don’t feel intertwined with them, you might be more likely to end things post-chaos. “If a person doesn’t feel much connection or interest in continuing the relationship with his partner, the holidays can end up being empty and unfulfilling to one or both of the partners…

After the breakup conversation — which all three experts mandate must be done in person — it’s important to stay firm with your choice and to provide your ex with the space they need to recover, heal and move forward. “Provide room for your partner’s response and let her talk about and/or feel the breakup with him as a way to start the healing process,” Thomas says. “Also, during the breakup talk, it is best to determine together if it is wise to stay friends — with no benefits — or not since some people can’t or don’t want to go backward after being more deeply involved with each other.”

Dr. Yvonne Thomas Provides Couples Counseling in Los Angeles

While you might have lost your best friend, your support system is still around, you just have to brave enough to ask. As Thomas notes, the most powerful tool to move forward is reminding yourself that you’re not alone and you have people cheering in your court. “Make it a point to let family and friends comfort you through this painful time. Allow your loved ones to be an emotional support system for you by reminding you of your specialness and how much you are cared about. Talk regularly in person or by phone to feel connected and not alone in going through the holiday breakup,” she explains. “Breakups can lower a person’s self-confidence and self-esteem at times so it is very important to balance that out by letting those closest to you value and nurture you.”

 

One of Dr. Yvonne Thomas’s specialties is couples counseling in Los Angeles. To read the full article “Everything You Need To Know About Holiday Breakups,” visit askmen.com