You’re more comfortable—and that can be tricky.
Eh, quirks are part of every human experience. And oftentimes, these strange, unexplainable ticks or rituals are attractive and even sexy to the right person. You might believe you already know all of those idiosyncrasies about your partner, but when you’re married? They’ll become even more comfortable than they were before—and so will you. This, of course, is part of marriage but it sometimes reveals qualities you might not appreciate. How come? Well, all of their sides—including the bad and the ugly—will come out. “They might not always be as polite or cooperative as when they were dating and were trying to make such a good impression. Once married, one or both of the partners may relax into the relationship more than before because of feeling emotionally secure now that they’re ‘legal,’” psychologist Dr. Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D. explains. “These changes can cause confusion and upset between the couple.”
When you start to see a transformation in your partner and it isn’t for the better, it’s important to open the flood gates of communication. While you don’t want to attack them and list all the reasons they’re frustrating you, it is important to express how you feel and figure out a way you can keep the romance alive, even with dirty laundry, electric bills and a garage door that needs fixing.
You might not think date night is important.
You just had a whirlwind of rose-colored, glitter-covered experiences: a proposal, the kiss to seal the deal, the first dance, your honeymoon. So you probably don’t need date nights in the first year of marriage, right? Absolutely not, according to Dr. Thomas. Since you’ll have heated conversations and likely, many fights, you need something to look forward to that keeps your connection sparked steady. “Make time in the first of year of marriage to incorporate a date night at least once a week for the two of you. This is necessary because it is not uncommon after getting married to start taking each other for granted,” she recommends. “Set aside a few hours at least once a week to remember and enjoy what you love about each other to keep the romance and passion vibrant and strong.”
Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D. is a therapist in Los Angeles. To read the full article, “Experts On Why The First Year of Marriage Is The Hardest” visit datezie.com