The Perfect Answers to Your Family Members’ Most Intrusive Questions
EXCERPT
“As Los Angeles-based psychologist Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D. explains, you have the right to decide how much — or how little — you want to share. There are ways to answer these annoying inquiries with respect for both yourself and the person putting you on the spot. Not sure how?”
“When are you two going to start your family?”
“Of all of the difficult questions to handle during the holiday season, the one around having a baby can be incredibly sensitive. After all, one in three couples will battle some form of infertility — whether in conceiving or carrying a fetus to term.
Thomas says that the decision to have a baby or a family is private and personal, and if you decide against becoming parents, you should not face criticism for your choice. Thomas suggests something like “That is a choice between my partner and I, that we are discussing privately.” Then, you can inquire about something less intense to switch the gears of the convo.
Of all of the difficult questions to handle during the holiday season, the one around having a baby can be incredibly sensitive. After all, one in three couples will battle some form of infertility — whether in conceiving or carrying a fetus to term.
Thomas says that the decision to have a baby or a family is private and personal, and if you decide against becoming parents, you should not face criticism for your choice. Thomas suggests something like “That is a choice between my partner and I, that we are discussing privately.” Then, you can inquire about something less intense to switch the gears of the convo.”
“Looks like you have packed on some weight this year!”
If you are not ready to shut down the noisy neighbor, Thomas suggests nipping the question in the bud quickly so further comments are prevented. She recommends a vague approach: “Yeah, it has been a year! How did the move go?” When you do this, you are making it evident you do not want to divulge and that you are uncomfortable. Hopefully, the other half of the convo will take a clue — and back off.
“When are you moving back home?”
If you are the only one out of dozens of cousins who flew the coop, you are probably plagued by this question every time you venture back to the neighborhood. Thomas says it is best to approach this inquiry with a healthy dose of kindness and firmness since you want to tread gently but also make it clear you do not intend to return to their zip code. “Let them know that as much as you have loved the hometown, you are learning and growing where you are living now and that you have a new place you call home,” she suggests. “Emphasize that you are still able to carry the hometown with you by staying in contact with your family and friends who remain there.”
Yvonne Thomas Ph.D. is a Los Angeles Therapist. To read the full article “The Perfect Answers to Your Family Members’ Most Intrusive Questions” visit edit.sundayriley.com