As psychologist Dr. Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D. explains, going through a divorce can have a painful, damaging effect on a person’s psyche and well-being, impacting their sense of self and esteem. Though this might not be a simple uphill battle, plenty of people meet worthy companions—and even get married again. If you think you’re ready to give someone (and yourself) a chance, consider this your guide to easing back into the vast world of dating in the 21st century.
However, Dr. Thomas warns against rushing too quickly into a relationship—or into bed—since that could lead to unwarranted feelings of attachment. As she explains, many people fear being alone post-divorce, and seek the approval of another person to make them feel attractive, sexy or lovable.
“Perhaps that means joining a group that does activities you are interested in or taking a trip with other singles to a place you love or have always wanted to visit,” she continues. “if you are newly divorced, it can be very healing to have some lighthearted experiences doing things you enjoy or have wanted to try—and with the addition of doing this with other single people.”
As painstakingly difficult as it is to remind yourself that no two relationships are the same, Dr. Thomas explains it couldn’t be more essential to dating post-divorce. Try to be cognizant of giving any new prospect a chance to be seen for who he or she is, instead of assuming or typecasting that person because of negative baggage you may be consciously or subconsciously carrying along with you from your marriage and/or divorce.