“We can’t ask someone to be something we’re not,” she says. “If you value financial responsibility in someone, you have to show up like that.” (So you don’t have to make a million dollars a year, but you do need to start paying your bills on time.) Yvonne Thomas, PhD, a Los Angeles-based psychologist who specializes in relationships, agrees. “Having similar values in yourself that you also want in a partner can help spark the interest [of] the kind of person you’d want to date,” she says.
There’s also a long-term upside to this values-based approach, says Coopersmith. “When we look at relationships that dismantle, often times the partners have opposing values—for instance, one’s a spender and one’s a saver, so they’re always fighting about money,” she says, noting that when values are actually aligned, there’s a sense of mutual appreciation. “These commonalities can help lead to compatibility, which is one of the factors necessary in a successful love relationship,” Thomas adds.”
Yvonne Thomas Ph.D. is a therapist in the Los Angeles Area. To read the full article “Here’s How To Attract The Type Of Person You ‘Actually’ Want To Date” Vist wellandgood.com