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Dr. Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based psychologist, says it might be confusing to know when you’re in a romantic relationship or not because both of you are going at different paces determining how you each feel about the other. “When people who are looking for a significant other are going on dates, the first objective usually is to get to know each other to see if there is enough compatibility and chemistry to build a relationship from,” she continues. “It can take different amounts of time for each of the people to figure out if they are interested enough and feel ready to declare wanting to be in an exclusive relationship.”
For those eager to be in a long-term relationship and desire a significant other that can go the distance, it may feel stressful to have the same small talk with each could-be companion. After all, your date could be having fun, and your feelings could be growing. In this case, bringing up the relationship talk may be terrifying since you don’t want to scare this person away before they’ve had time to catch up to your emotional level. …
As we’ve mentioned before, generally speaking, there is no set number of dates before it’s a relationship. Instead, it is a matter of both people taking enough time to discern if there is enough compatibility and chemistry between them to make a relationship from, Dr. Thomas says. The keyword here? Time. It’s impossible to know if a potential partner can go the distance without getting to know each other in different ways. Dr. Thomas says you should explore all aspects of your life, including interests, hobbies, family backgrounds, relationship histories, careers, education, values, and what each person seeks in a significant other and for the future.
You recognize red flags.
We all have deal breakers in long-term relationships. For some, it could be having children; for others, it could be certain vices, like drinking and smoking. As you are getting acquainted with each other, Dr. Thomas, it is imperative to learn if any red flags would indicate it wouldn’t be wise to get into a committed relationship. Rather than forcing a connection to happen, it’s better to determine if you are on the same page, want the same things from your future together, and if you see an endless opportunity.
Yvonne Thomas Ph.D. is a top-rated therapist in LA. To read the full article “How Many Dates Before You’re Officially In A Relationship?” visit weddingwire.com